The move of all moves
The almost hike to Cathedral Lake
First off, I’m not a blogger or a writer. So please bear with me as I attempt to document my experiences in words in addition to photos. I’m sure it’s not going to be the most elegant process.
A few months ago I decided to apply for a job in Aspen, CO, working in tech for the skiing company that resides there. Short story shorter, I got the job and quickly packed up my belongings and made the move to my new home. After being in Boulder for 9 years, it was an easy decision, but not an easy process. This was my fourth move this year, and finding affordable housing in the valley is about as likely as winning the lottery. I am so grateful for my family’s ears, and glad they decided to still talk to me after complaining to them almost everyday for a month, worried how I was going to make this happen. You guys are the best.
In December of last year, my roommates and I all lost our belongings in the fires that struck the Superior/Louisville area. It was shocking and unpredictable, but am glad I had such a good support that was there for me along the way. I knew it sucked, but had recently come into a new found confidence that told me “I can handle anything”, losing all of my belongings included (um, what?). I wasn’t wrong - people can definitely handle a lot more than they think they can, but I maybe took this a little to seriously and am only coming to realize it in the past month or so of having moved to a new town. I had started to notice the behaviors and patterns that I was still living, that mirrored too well how I felt the first weeks after the fire. Never really having a home space, nothing that felt familiar, always on the go, and never wanting to be home.
I do enjoy being out and about, talking to people, exploring, seeing new places, pretty much any chance I can get. But after almost obsessively trying to be away from home doing “something” each day for the past month (and coming home at the end of many days still feeling unfulfilled), I realized that it was more than just “wanting to explore new things” that I was seeking.
Turns out rebuilding your stuff also includes rebuilding your mind, and that takes time. I’m learning to be patient with the process, but always know that things will work out how they are meant to, on their own timeline. It doesn’t come without a lot of heartache, confusion, and uncertainty, but it also comes with growth, unforgettable stories, and more love than you could ever imagine. I am aware this sounds rather sappy, but it shouldn’t make anything experienced less valid. It just IS sappy, okay.
I am so happy and grateful to be here, but it does not mean I am cheerful every moment of everyday. I’ve been taking more time by myself, being in the mountains, and capturing what I love most about this town which is the insurmountable beauty that is everywhere you look. This includes the photo above, where I decided to go on a hike starting at 11 am (bad idea) and got caught in a very much not mom-approved lightning storm (sorry mom) that led me to sprint down the very muddy trail in my very non-waterproof boots (second bad idea). All I could think was “protect the camera” and “get to tree line” and after one too many close calls, I made it down and it almost seemed like nothing happened as the sun started to creep out. I have hiked too many times, and have gone on too many solo endeavors to ever be this much of an idiot again.
So I move again in one week, and have a new home for a full year. I think this will be the record number of times I’ve moved in a year that doesn’t include “travelling for leisure.” So this is the move of all moves - being in Aspen, being in a place for a full year. I am excited for what is to come, while also working through everything that was this past year. I’ve felt the highest of highs and the lowest of lows (so far) and am looking forward to what’s ahead. I am hopeful that it includes many fun adventures, new faces that turn into friends, and a lot of picture taking, which I am always realizing how happy it makes me. New beginnings are tough, but also necessary and exciting. And as long as you lead with an open heart, I really believe that things will always be okay.
-Madison